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Ok, so we've decided our gsp is just not doing well anymore. I believe it is time. He seems to be in pain, can't run around anymore etc..It is really really hard because he is still totally fine but his body is failing him. I'm still struggling with trying to figure out how it is that I think I get to decide that one day he lives but the next will be his last day on earth. Sorry, thats pretty blunt but I'm just really questioning if God really has allowed for me to decide my dog's fate. Anyway, to my question. We have a 3 and 5 year-old and I have told them the dog will only be with us a few more days, that he is very sick and he hurts and we can't fix him so we need him to go by God so God can make him better. But, the day we take him to have him put down do we tell them "Say goodbye he won't coming back?" I know my 5 year-old will ask a billion questions about how do we know that, and where is going to die and how etc... Or do we just say we are taking him to the vet and we are not sure if he will be coming home because he is so sick. That seems mean to give them hope when we know there is none. But do we really tell them we take him to be put to sleep??? Help!!!!!!!!!!!
14 Comments for "putting dog to sleep-help with ? about telling kids"
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That is so difficult....for everyone. I know how you feel about making the decision. When I had to do it for my sweet little dog, I remember wishing I could just come home and find her passed away. But I know that if I were in that much pain and I knew things would only get worse, I would want someone to do for me what we did for her.
I wish I had some advice for you on how to tell your kids. It's tough to do no matter what the age. I might go with the "we're going to the vet to see if they can help" and have them give hugs & kisses. Then when you come back you can say that the dog was very sick and passed away.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. It's the worst thing about having pets. They give us so many years of love and devotion. I hope it all goes as well as possible.
Hugs,
Jennifer -
You are not determining the dog's fate. You are easing the suffering that the dog is going through right now. It's cruel to keep the dog going just so you can put off the inevitable. This is a very heartbreaking thing to do, but my advise to you is be frank and very kind when telling the children that it's time for the dog to be with God. Putting out "hope that the dog will come back" is wrong.
We just put our beagle to sleep last year. Our two kids slept in our room with the dog on the last night. We told them the day before that the dog was going to the vet and we all said good bye.
It's so sad when this happens, but it is a part of life and everyone will heal.
My heart goes out to your family. -
So sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine (and I know we will have to do this someday when our dog gets old) how tough that is. I would tell them so they have some closure. I like the idea of everyone sleeping together the night before, that is really sweet.
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I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
Please don't say anything about the vet (or, when the time comes a doctor for a family member) as that may make your children fearful of the vet/doctor.
My parents' dog passed away a few months after DD2 was born. DD1 loved this dog so much; you'd think she was her own.
DH explained it to DD (who just turned 3 at the time) that Coco was very, very very sick and she couldn't get better. DD asked if she ate grass (she knows our dogs throw up/get sick when they eat grass). DH said no, she was much sicker than that. And now, Coco has is living in heaven with Jesus and God. DH reminded her that when we visit my parents, she won't see Coco.
I believe she took it okay; I honestly couldn't be there when DH did this because I was so upset. It was a very sudden passing.
If your dog is getting old, I'm sure your kids have seen the progression and will "get" it.
We now are able to use the Jesus/God/Heaven thing for others; my grandma passed away and now she and Coco are in heaven with Jesus. It worked for us. -
Thank-you all for your help. I'm a wreck when I think about. YOu may have seen me-I was the one in the dog food aisle at Wal-mart crying while the girls picked out the treats he should get to have all week. It was sooo sad to know those were the last treats we would buy him. I don't have a problem being frank with them about him dying. I don't want to sugarcoat things, my only problem I'm having is that my 5 year-old will ask me questions about how he is going to die at the vet. She will know that we don't just drive him there on Sat. and he "happens" to die while there. She is very curious. She will not be satisfied with her questions until we have to tell her the vet kills the dog! I can't say he puts the dog to sleep (scary for a kid) but I also don't want to tell her that the vet actually takes poison and a needle (shot) and stops the dogs heart. I just think that is too much info. for her. But I know she will badger with questions until it all makes sense.
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I agree w/ not telling your kids your dog is being put to sleep. The vet poisoning the dog will also scare them. How about if you tell them the vet is helping the dog w/ the transition from being here on earth with you guys to going up to heaven w/ god.
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slave-thanks, I did some research online and found that some people have said what you did. I think I will just say that the vet needs to help the dog go to heaven in a way that is not painful. And she will ask how how how what will he do how will he help??? I'm not sure how I will answer all that but I do like saying the vet if just going to help him.
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It would be nice to make a stepping stone with the dogs print and your childrnes prints too. I did that with my little one before both our cats died. I was fortunate. The last cat died in his sleep the night before I was taking him in.
It might also be nice to read the Mister Rogers book about this subject. -
Spring-what a cute idea!! And where can I find the Rodgers book (or what is the name of it)??
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:'( I seriously have tears coming down right now. When we put my cat to sleep we did the everyone sleep on the floor with him and he got his fill of treats....i was more insistant on him getting hamburger and tukey meat then actual treats. But i was around 15 so i knew what was happening. I hope everything goes well with your explination and please let us know what you said...my moms dog is on his last legs for sure and I need to know how to explain this type of situation to a 3 year old. Your family is in my prayers and I pray that you all get through this difficult time..
many hugs,
Kellie -
Kellie, thank-you so much. We just made the app. today so I am sooo sad today. It is hitting so hard. I'm just so sad that I can actually count down how many more days he will be here with us. The girls just made him cards and my 3 year-old came up with a decorated construction paper with cat stickers all over it and tape sticking off and said this way we can tape it to his new collar (we buy him) and he can chase cats all day in heaven (he loves to chase cats). I just bawled and the girls said "Let's just go pet him now."
Onto another question:
We got a vet to come out to the farm(he'll be buried at the Grandparents farm) to put him to sleep which is sooo awesome. He will be able to spend some time running around there and then the vet will come and put him down with dh and I there and we can bury him right there. It will really be a beautiful way for him to go. My kids will be up at the house with their grandparents but then I'm wondering what we do from there. Dh thinks it will be a little much have them say Goodbye the night before or that morning and then we disappear for an hour and then come back and get them and take them to visit the grave site. He thinks we should go home then and come back the next weekend to visit the site. I'm not sure. what would you do??? Thanks for your support. -
I wouldnt take them back down there, unless they suggested themselves to go see the grave. I would suggest taking them to a flower store and bringing them back the next weekend to plant the flowers around the site...sometimes seeing the mound of dirt can be worse then the casket (at least for when I have seen family (human) members buried and come back soon after to drop off flowers. But they can pick out some flowers and make it a calm transition....
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I agree about not taking the kids down to see the grave. If they ask why they can't, tell them he's still transitioning to heaven and it's a private thing, or something like that.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I had to put both my cats down and it killed me and I cried so hard. But it was the right thing to do. -
Yikes
I remember when my Dad died and we went to the cemetray after the lunch. It was a startling shock to see a mound of dirt and I was welll into adulthood.
Could the kids make a special stepping stone or mosaic cross or something to take back to put there with plants? It will give them something to do and it wont feel so final.
I love that your little one wants to buy a NEW collar for Heaven. That is so sweet. One does want to look their best when they get to Heaven!
Remmeber to keep the old collar and tags.
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