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I have three small kids, all under eight. I met my boyfriend this past summer and he had minimal contact with my kids. Two months into dating my kids went to another state to be with their father. When they were gone I moved in with boyfriend... It was great. We got along wonderful. A month before my kids got back I moved to my own place. My kids have now been home for about a month. Its been great, but there are something's that concern me. My boyfriend is older and never had kids. He says he can do without kids of his own...but he also says he knows from the beginning I had kids and he is ok with that. We have been going out about eight months..and we have talked about staying together for the long haul.my boyfriend does interact with my kids...bit when I go over to his place with the kids..he goes into his bedroom and watches tv while the kids and i stay in the main part of the home. I make the kids supper..amd after they eat my boyfriend and i will eat in his room and then im back with my kids i until bedtime. Like i said my kids are younger and they do fight. One of my kids have behavioral issues. She screams a lot. My boyfriend says sometimes he just can't handle hearing the screaming... Which i totally understand..going from quiet singlehood to three kids must really jolt the system.
.but im beginning to wonder..is this normal? I dont expect him to jump right in..but is there a warming up phase..or do you think it's bound to be this way forever. I live this guy..and im afraid he's going to say he can't do this after all and leave. And my kids come first so he would be the one to go of course.but im wondering if im wasting my time. My kids like my boyfriend. They are comfortable with him..we were over there this weekend and we had to leave early today because my boyfriend basically said he couldn't handle listening to them screech any longer.
We have talked about possibly moving in together this summer...but now he is talking about renewing his lease.
I guess i just want to know what's normal, what's not and just how to deal
.but im beginning to wonder..is this normal? I dont expect him to jump right in..but is there a warming up phase..or do you think it's bound to be this way forever. I live this guy..and im afraid he's going to say he can't do this after all and leave. And my kids come first so he would be the one to go of course.but im wondering if im wasting my time. My kids like my boyfriend. They are comfortable with him..we were over there this weekend and we had to leave early today because my boyfriend basically said he couldn't handle listening to them screech any longer.
We have talked about possibly moving in together this summer...but now he is talking about renewing his lease.
I guess i just want to know what's normal, what's not and just how to deal
3 Comments for "my kids. my boyfriend "
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This just doesn't sound like a forever relationship for you. I think you are wasting
your time.You don't want to be with someone who is just tolerating your children, they deserve to be with someone who will love them, and there are men like that.I married one 30 years ago. I only had 1 child , but he WANTED me to bring her along when we went out. He wanted to spend time with her. I dated other Men who I could tell were tolerating her , that was my test.... We went on to have 3 more children, and 1 Grandchild from my daughter...his favorite person is my Husband who considers him to be HIS Grandson, not Step- Grandson.
If he is talking about renewing his lease, he is telling you. -
[quote=schmootzie]This just doesn't sound like a forever relationship for you. I think you are wasting
your time.You don't want to be with someone who is just tolerating your children, they deserve to be with someone who will love them, and there are men like that.I married one 30 years ago. I only had 1 child , but he WANTED me to bring her along when we went out. He wanted to spend time with her. I dated other Men who I could tell were tolerating her , that was my test.... We went on to have 3 more children, and 1 Grandchild from my daughter...his favorite person is my Husband who considers him to be HIS Grandson, not Step- Grandson.
If he is talking about renewing his lease, he is telling you.[/quote]
Couldnt agree more -
I have one daughter and when I start to date guys I never introduce her to them. One because I dont want to complicate her life in any way. She shouldn't have to see a differnt guy in her life growing up each year. I always tell any guy I date that...when and if I ever meet anyone that I think is GOOD ENOUGH for my daughter and someone that will be there forEVER I wil introduce them...I feel like it'll be a hard/exciting transition when the time is right. I feel that I would have figured out by then if he'd be the type of guy who'd eat in his room or would be in the living room playing with us.... if he'd be the one in his room...I'd never have even considered him. Your children are your top priority, they'll be in your life forever. As a mom of three kids...I think its time you face reality and maybe think twice about your boyfriend...
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