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Your Name: Lindsay Atkinson
Children: One lovely little Ingrid, 18 months
Work: Advertising Account Coordinator
Favorite part of being a mom: Experiencing all of the wonderful “firsts”
Least favorite part of being a mom: Packing up clothes that no longer fit – knowing that she’ll never be that small again.
Famous for: Reheating the same cup of coffee all day.
As Ingrid inches closer to two-years-old, her little personality and sense of humor are starting to shine. She goes from smiles to tears in a hot second if her requests aren't granted. As in, "No you can't watch another show, it's time to play."
What's surprising though, is her sharp-as-a-tack memory (hoping that "sharp-as-a-tack" is the correct phrase to use here). Off the cuff, I mentioned that she can "earn" an M&M if she uses the potty. Now, like a little solider she'll randomly blurt out "Go potty. Get M. GO POTTY GET M!" Glad we're making this whole potty training thing a causal, welcoming experience.
I can't believe she's still touting this phrase after I muttered it weeks ago.
A back story: When Dan and I were dating, he would do this little move I referred as "The Dinosaur." Stick with me here. While sitting across one another at a restaurant or bar he would move his gaze up and look surprised or scared. Like the face you would make if you saw a really tall dinosaur. I would "fall" for this move, spin around alarmed.
I had completely forgotten about this little joke until Dan played it on Ingrid the other day. She screamed in terror. When we told her there might be a dinosaur outside she thought we were out of our minds. They were on TV - not outside. Mom and Dad joke fail.
Since then, I've tried this little joke on her from time to time. She'll now smile, shake her head and remind me that "No dinosaurs!" but at least she's not screaming in terror.
Ingrid will turn two (as in, years old) in a few short months.
I have stopped referring to her as whatever-month-old. Now, I inform those who question her age that, "She'll be turning two in April." Which kind of bums me out. She's still so tiny - how can she be two? How can I remember her at nine months so vividly, but 19 months feels like a blur?
A few months ago, Ingrid's favorite teacher at daycare jokingly asked when will we have another baby. She explained that many of the babies leave the Baby Room and forget the teachers. But, the toddlers (and older kids) remember the staff and greet in the hallway and gym happily. If we had another baby, Ingrid would have a reason to visit the room and hopefully remember her "first" teachers.
I had never even thought of this and my knee-jerk reaction was to respond with "Who can afford to send two kids to daycare here?" and then, "Ingrid will totally remember you guys!"
The teacher is right. She won't remember them, but we will and that's pretty important. They were so wonderful at making us feel comfortable. They were in constant communication and more importantly, Ingrid loved (loves) them all. As we drive away from school, she yells "Bye bye Chrissy! Bye bye Malena! Bye bye Tao Tao!" - and will sometimes blow air kisses (too sweet!).
Yesterday was Ingrid's first day in the Toddler Room at daycare.
I feel like the time is right, she's ready. Although, it's hard not to feel some emotional connection to these caregivers who have watched her go from laying to crawling to walking. Cooing to talking. From being baby to insisting on playing with babies.
I had planned on going with Dan to drop her off in her new room, but when the day came, it just didn't make sense. We never drop her off together. She would have to say good-bye to both of us. It didn't feel necessary.
After receiving a text from Dan letting me know that the drop off included a tearful good-bye a little wave of shame hit me. Realistically, I could have been there. Should I have been there? Guilt mixed with worry caused me to search for carbs that afternoon. Sadly (and thankfully) there were none available.
I rushed out of work to pick her up. Going across the hall to the new room felt foreign, but as soon as I peaked my head around the door, I saw Ingrid organizing cars (with a baby in hand, natch), and felt relieved.
She had a rough start to a wonderful day. Played with all of the new toys and fell asleep while watching the fish tank. On the car ride home, I asked her if she wanted to go back to the Toddler Room. She thought about this for a few seconds and shouted a resounding "YES!"
Sometime transitions - like moving to a Big Girl Bed or ditching the pacifier - feel hard and leave me longing for her to stop growing. I know that we'll have ups and downs as Ingrid adjusts to the new space but, thankfully, this transition feels right.
2013 is here and I'm a little baffled at my lack of enthusiasm. Typically, I am invigorated by a New Year. In the past, I have set reasonable resolutions and embraced the idea of a fresh start. Not so in 2013. I've been searching for ideas as to why.
Ingrid will be two this year. I'm excited to continue to grow with her - to start new family holiday traditions (starting with my new favorite, Valentine's Day), plan her second birthday party, take her to swimming lessons, catch her at the bottom of the slide and have her by my side in the kitchen.
Dan will graduate school in May. His business continues to grow and I'm thrilled for him to finish school and have more time to focus on his art and his family.
I'm feeling good about my new job and I'm grateful for the shift in work-life balance that I was desperately craving. We're on the hunt for a house. A search for a home to call our own. That's pretty exciting - so, why the grumpy 'tude?
Perhaps because a new year signifies a new start which translates to change - and I'm craving a stable routine.
That's my resolution - to create a sense of normalcy and routine. To stop whining about the constant that is change. To do what I can to bring balance and stability to our days - even if that mean enacting something lame like Meatless Mondays (or Crockpot Tuesdays?).
Are you with me that the above resolution sucks? Me too. I'll keep working on that and let you know if anything progresses.
In other less-depressing news, I was inspired yesterday by this quote that one of my friends sent in a card. It touched me deeply and left me with a spring in my step (as you can tell by the tone of this post - it's needed) - I hope it does the same for you.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson
I love every word of this quote and ope to bring you more uplifting thoughts in the coming months that make up this wonderful year.
Happy New Year! If you're like me and coming down from the high of a 12 day vacation, then yesterday felt a little weird. It was only my fourth day on the job and it felt like my first day all over again. What's the code to the building? Did I just inadvertently steal someone's coffee creamer?
At home, things felt a little off as well. For dinner, we looked to the freezer for guidance and after two weeks of decadent treats and cheeses, fish and broccoli felt like the right choice - but also a little sad. Bye vacation! Guess I can't wear my pajamas all day! See you later cheese and chocolate!
After tucking in a sleepy Ingrid, I happily climbed into bed at 8:30 with my new book ready for a full night of sleep. An hour later Ingrid started wailing. Dan and I looked at each other and groaned with annoyance. She wasn't tossing or turning or searching for a lost pacifier - she was just wide awake.
Dan suggested her and Ingrid watch a movie in the living room. I agreed but was a little twirly because A) Everyone needs their sleep. B) Dan had been with her all day and I was getting the guilts C) Seriously Ingrid? Go to sleep!
If you're already up with a toddler after bedtime, why not have a snack? Snacks make everyone happy.
I thought Ingrid would get a kick out of watching the popcorn pop, but we didn't get out of the pantry before we both started cracking each other up. I started to fake laugh at Ingrid over her fake-smile (mature Mom move!). She fake laughed at me, I "real" laughed, she replied and we went on like this until I had tears streaming down my face and had to quickly throw her into Dan's arms because I was too weak with laughter. I don't remember what started the fake smile/laugh or why I though giving a toddler popcorn at 9:30 at night was a good idea, but I have never had so much fun with my daughter in a 3 minute period. So glad I stayed up to give her a treat and share late night laugh.
This weekend truly felt like a weekend. To me that means: time with family, time with friends, brunch on Saturday, brunch on Sunday, a little baking and a lot of relaxing. This stress-free weekend was especially energizing for me as I'm between job changes. You could say that I've been a "hot mess" and I wouldn't argue with you. Leaving some place you love is a bummer. The anticipation of a new challenges\ is nerve-wracking.
Looking ahead to our holiday gatherings, the to-do, to-make and to-buy lists are slowly and steadily growing. Compared to the stress of a job change - the next few weeks feel like they are going to be a piece of cake.
Speaking of cake - have you guys ever had sponge candy? You probably have. But if not, it's one of those wonderful, sugary confections that surfaces this time of the year. Dark chocolate surrounds a piece of crunchy, cake-like candy. A friend introduced me to this last month and I'm officially hooked. I've allowed myself to buy two bags (so far). It's over-priced and worth it.
Back to the holidays.
In addition to drooling over sponge candy, introducing Ingrid to Christmas traditions has been incredibly rewarding this month. We took her to Cathedral Square Park and admired the lights. Ingrid insisted on visiting the playground for a quick swing and loved laughing at us through the looping lights.
This weekend, we made Cranberry Bread for her daycare teachers. Ingrid stood proudly at the counter and sprinkled on a topping while reminding us "Ingrid help! Ingrid help!"
Then, we pushed the envelope and had her paint mugs. What a brilliant idea it was to use the smallest bib imaginable in hopes to catch the multiple paint splatters.
Even though her clothes were painted in the process, she did a really great job using the paintbrush. I think it's because it involves dipping the brush into the paint. Kids love to dip. I'm starting to learn that carrots are best with ranch and chicken is best with a quarter cup of mustard on the side.
Baking and crafting are holiday traditions that I loved as a kid. They were traditions that I could carry with me to college and to my first apartment in Milwaukee. We don't have the room for a tree, Ingrid doesn't know who Santa truly is and we're still in search of a church - but these simple traditions always get me in the holiday spirit.
What are your favorite holiday traditions?
What do you recommend we try with a young toddler?
Every season brings a new batch of holiday traditions to be remembered or created with Ingrid. It's hard not to get swept-up in the moment. Let's take today for example - as I was a few phone calls away from booking an unnecessarily expensive Breakfast with Santa when a coworker reminded me that we don't have to do everything this year.
Breakfast with Santa can wait. Wish lists for Santa can wait. Cutting down our family's first real Christmas tree can wait until next year when we're in a bigger place.
I love that Ingrid only understands a small percentage of what's going around her this month. She loves looking at the Christmas lights twinkling on front yards. Tonight, the holiday section of Target blew her mind as she yelled "Sparkly balls! Sparkly Balls! SPARKLY BALLS!" Hilarious and accurate.
The decision to postpone the "real" tree was a slight disappointment for me but, I perked up when I saw this little Pinterest-gem: A Felt Tree for Toddlers.
It took Dan five minutes to cut out the tree from green felt, while I created as many ornaments as Ingrid would let me finish. At first she called the ornaments "makeups." It was one of those moments where she looked at me with such conviction as if to say "Excuse me Mom, these felt circles are now referred to as makeups, not 'ornaments'. How old are you?"
At least once a day, she'll toss her baby to the side and happily jog over to her tree to "pat-pat" her ornaments (felt sticks to felt!). She'll admire her handy work and then aggressively wipe the tree clean and decorate it once again.
She loves it and uses it daily. It cost roughly $5 and took 20 minutes to create. Our real tree can wait until next year.
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