Sex ed is a difficult time for families. Parents are horrified that their children are old enough to learn such concepts. Children are horrified by cartoon videos depicted what's going to happen to organs they didn't know they had. And I'm sure teachers love it too.
Though I remember bits and pieces of it (mainly giggling and confusion), I don't remember the one thing I've yet to live down.
When I was in fifth grade, sex ed was separated by gender. And though I was sitting in a room full of girls, it was the point in our education when we started to learn about boys and their weird bodies.
I came home from school one day, and allegedly uttered the following words to my father.
"I don't get it. Why don't they just call it what it is?"
Confused, my father asked what I was referring to.
"Why don't they just call it a boner?"
First of all, let me say that younger me had no idea what my teacher was talking about. Obviously I didn't understand the concept if I thought it was appropriate to bring up to my father. I probably heard somebody say that on the playground, and I'm sure whoever said it had no idea what they were talking about either.
It was the verbal equivalent of playing with a Tamagotchi. Saying it made you seem cool, like you were an adult who understood what you were talking about.
Of course, I have no recollection of this conversation. My father, who is still haunted by this incident, insists on replaying it whenever possible. Meeting a boyfriend? Let's bring up the b-word story! Having friends over? Perfect, the b-word story will surely entertain them!
And family holidays aren't spared either.
I suppose that's the burden I must carry for such a shameful conversation with my father more than a decade ago.
Help me out here, folks. Share with me the most embarrassing thing you said as a kid so I don't feel so bad about mine!