“John and Kate Plus 8" is supposed to be a show about a middle-class couple raising their eight children. 

But after watching some clips of the program, I think it's more of a "how-to" guide on emasculation.   

Full disclosure: I've never actually watched a full episode of  "John and Kate."  But now that there's been so much press about the  couple's relationship.... well now I just have to.

It all looks so good on paper: A young, telegenic couple from Pennsylvania raising their eight-year-old twins and five-year-old sextuplets.  The eight kids are a handful... but everyone is so cute you can't help but tune in.

But then came the tabloid reports alleging that John was stepping out on the marriage, having been seen around town with some pretty young thing.  Shortly after that storm died down even more tabloid reports surfaced, claiming that Kate was having an affair with her bodyguard.

(Question:  Since when to cable reality stars need bodyguards???  But I digress....)

Forget the interaction with the kids on the show... have you heard the way Kate talks to John?  She scolds him in public, chides him like a child.  Anyone who's ever watched Dr. Phil knows that you never, never talk to a man like that.  Not if you don't want him to seek his validation elsewhere.  I mean, does she have any female friends??

The reason John and Kate stay together?  Probably that fat paycheck they get for doing the show.  I mean, they're probably counting on TLC to send those eight kids to college.  Isn't money the motivating factor in most dysfunctional relationships?

So good luck to you John... and try to seek some solace in those eight cute little kids.  And if you absolutely can't take Kate anymore...

Well...

I hear Octo-mom is available.